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I am a Mama. I am privileged to be able to love and guide my beautiful son through this world, and I love it...most days. The thing is, we are living in a time when we expect others, but most especially ourselves, to be superwoman. We expect that we can be all things to everyone, and it simply is not the case.
Mother's all around the world are breaking because they are guilty, because they feel like they are failing, because they feel like they are not providing the very best opportunities for their children, and because they feel inadequate. We are running ourselves into the ground, and losing ourselves in the process.
It is okay to say I'm not coping, or I need a break. You know what? I bloody applaud you for recognising what you NEED!! You do not need to be perfect, there really is no such thing. Please stop with this perpetuating cycle. You are not only harming yourself, but the very children you are trying to protect. They are darling little sponges who pick up on everything...the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Be realistic about what you can achieve, and be okay with that. If it has to get done tomorrow, so what? Will the Earth stop spinning? Do what has to be done and then give yourself a break. I operate a three column list system..something I was taught way back as a beginning teacher. Column #1, what has to be done. Things that are essential for life, if it's not essential, it's not in this list. This is my list that includes things like having someone pick up my child from school, having dinner etc. Column #2, things I'd like to get done today. Things in this list are maintenance items. For example, things like getting to the gym (important for my mental health, but not life or death), grocery shopping etc. Column #3 is things I'd like to get done but are neither essential or necessary. Things like weeding the garden, cleaning the car etc.
At the end of the day, you only have 24 hours in a day - and hopefully 8 of them are spent in slumber, because Mama needs sleep just as much as the children do. Between all the elements that make up your life, you need to make some time in there to prioritise you. Because every time you choose someone over you, you are telling yourself you are not worthy of time or love. And do you know what? That is the same message you are sending out into the Universe, and exactly what you are attracting back to yourself. If you want to experience something different you need to own it, and change it. Only you have the power to do that.
Spend some time with you. Remember what it is that makes you feel alive, what fires up your soul? Then find a way to include that in your day. For me, I have always processed my feelings through movement - dancing is an expression of me and I can't imagine my life without it in it. Children love to dance with you, to move with you. So even if you can't get out to a class, or have space to jam it up, know that chucking on some child-friendly sounds and having a groove session in the kitchen is more than acceptable!!
Superwoman is a myth. You do you, and do you big! Mama's are important! I hope you can see the beautiful and glorious beings I see.
xxx
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