Knowing yourself..

Today, I am not feeling myself..Nothing is wrong per say, but I just have a heavy weight on my being, and I know that it is time to withdraw for a little while.

Part of my pool of gifts is being an empath. If I'm not careful, I take on the world's problems, and the world's energies to the detriment of my own being. Suddenly, I end up feeling like I'm on an episode of the Horders - you know the one? Where people's houses are filled to the brim with all sorts of odds and sods that they have collected along the way, to the point where their houses are so full, that there isn't any room for themselves..not even a spot on the couch to sit on...My skin feels stretched, hot and tight. My emotions are bouncing off the walls and entirely too much.

So I will be detoxing..getting rid of all the baggage I have acquired and strengthening my protection. It's really a "It's not you, it's me" situation. Thing is, if you are anyway sensitive like I am, this will inevitably happen. Even with your protection and cleansing rituals dialed up, even the strongest of wills will crumble. You need to recognize these signs in yourself. Once upon a time I would have soldiered on, dug deep and risked complete breakdown. Experience tells me though, this is not the time to be foolhardy. 

Be aware of your intuition dear ones. No one can tell you this but you. Recognize the little niggles, the gut feeling that is telling you that you are approaching your upper threshold. Look for the signs, they are all around you.

Love and light xxx

Speaking your truth

Do you speak it? Or even hear it? Most of us in this world are so busy being busy in this world, that we speak without commitment and listen without actually hearing. Take a minute to reflect on your day..how often did you actually listen to what someone had to say? How many times did you express what you truly wanted to say?

Now, I'm not saying that we should speak every thought that comes to your mind..a lot of those thoughts could wind us up in a fair amount of trouble. I'm talking about your truth, those parts of you you are hiding for fear of recrimination. 

From very early on in our lives, the message of not being good enough is strongly imprinted on our brains - I know it was with me. Somehow I came to strongly believe that I needed to be a super woman - best at everything, doing everything for myself and others. The outcome? Disconnection to my self. Not any time for me, racing around like a lunatic from one thing to another, without even a fleeting thought for myself. Really appealing to be there for others, but at what cost? 

I was at one end of the spectrum..but there is another. Those with so much self belief and sense of entitlement that they become the takers to my fellow givers of this world. Some how there needs to be a middle ground. Neither end of the spectrum is serving you very well, and either end of the spectrum is limiting your experience of life.

Speaking and listening is a skill. Being able to get your message across without being unkind, or perceived the wrong way takes effort. And if you are anything like me, you'll be worrying yourself sick when faced with a situation where you need to speak your truth..reveal your true self, the unedited version - not the one you put out there everyday.

And as for listening? Well, that is just as much a skill. There is a difference between hearing and truly listening. When you are truly listening the truth in me honours the truth in you. You listen to not only the message that is being portrayed through words, but you listen to body language also, and connect to the message within your being.

I challenge you to observe how many times you really listen, and speak your truth in a day. Darling soul, you deserve the true connection that truly listening and speaking your truth will bring. Don't hide anymore, let your magnificent light shine free! You are too treasured to be caged and restricted, even when you impose the cage and restrictions. Shine on beautiful one, in every cell of your being.

Xxxx

Finding balance, finding your inner zen...finding YOU!

Today has been a good day... and I have been reflecting on why this is..not in a morbid glass half empty kind of way (which, in all honesty, is how I used to view not only the world, but everything in it), but in a way that is full of gratitude.

Thing is, as I said above this hasn't always been my go to reaction, nor my way of being in my life. For the best part of 39 years, I have fixated on what was wrong, what wasn't good enough, what my failings were, and why I wasn't as good enough. That is one heck of a drain on your energy, your mental capacities, and your soul's ability to radiate light and love at it's fullest potential.

So what changed? Many things. Essentially my higher self had a wee shout in my ear, and said ENOUGH!You've almost lived half your life, the next half deserves some of that happiness action you've been passing around like marshmellows to everyone you meet. 

And so it is. Gratitude is an amazing practice, and seriously the best way to wind down your day. But the funny thing is that once you get used to practicing gratitude, it becomes your way of thinking. Like I can smile as I go about my day, and be grateful all the time, even in the little moments. Moments such as my son being a clown, or my husband rubbing my head as he walks past me, or a bird fluttering around my feet whilst I'm hanging out the washing. Every day does not need to be mundane, there are so many moments to be thankful for, and grateful for.

About 20 months ago, I lost my best friend after a courageous battle with brain cancer. I never thought I would ever come out the other side of the grief that overwhelmed me. Look for me in the rainbows she said - and you'd be amazed at how many times, in how many ways I see rainbows in my every day - oftentimes in places where you'd have to wonder how did that get here? She made it until shortly after her 38th birthday. Taken far too soon. She was the best in so many people. 

Today there is lightness in my step and my heart as I remember her, and love her still. She never got to be 39 or anymore numbers. Every day is a blessing, with more potential and gifts than you can possibly imagine. Don't waste your days picking apart what coulda, shoulda, woulda.. Choose to turn it around, choose to see the glass half full, choose to fill your heart full of gratitude, and choose to see the potential in every moment, every gesture. Life is for living, completely, radiantly. Every day you spend pulling apart, is one you will never ever get back. Find your joy, find your peace, find your bliss. It's out there waiting for you...go live it with resounding abundance.

Namaste xxx

A reminder for today..with love xx

Living with passion..

Lately I have been thinking about what it means to truly live. Not the existing that a whole truckload of us do, but the kind of living that ignites your soul and puts fire in your belly. The kind of life that makes you jump out of bed in the morning with joyous excitement for what the day may hold, the adventures you will see and partake in.

Here's the thing..we are all only here for a finite length of time, and no one knows which day will be our last. Do you want your last day to be like this? Is that the legacy you want to leave behind?

In order to have a joyful life, you need to have a joyful mindset. You need to feel it in your heart and your soul...and you can. The limitations and restrictions you feel come from your ego - ego resides in our brain. Ego will also limit your existence, diminish the joy. 

To live an awesome life, you just need to decide one thing...decide that you deserve to live a life of awesomeness, and believe it with every cell in your being. That's it. Once you project that out to the world, to the universe, your experience in this world will light the fire in your belly. Trust that it will come. It will.

Love and light xxx

In the aftermath of recent events, it is even more important that we operate from a place of love. Hate just leads to more hate, it does not cancel it out - it only gives more power to those that are operating out of this state of being. But how does one do this? No one ever said it would be easy, but if you have been on my facebook page this week, you will have seen the card I drew for us all..See only love..which seems more than a little appropriate right now!

When you operate from a place of love, your energy is light and bright, and you attract similar energy from those around you. When you operate from a place of hate, your energy is dark and heavy, and you attract similar energy around you.. See the pattern? What do you want in your life? What do you want to attract? I know for me, I'm all about light and bright! 

The world is hurting right now, there are so many people and places that are reeling in an aftermath, their very foundations rocked and crumbling. It is devastating to watch, and for those that are in it - the world must appear to be so volatile right now. It is in the rubble though, that we can make vital choices. You can post your stake in the ground and say enough. I am not going to be that person anymore. I will operate my life in this way, and not give away my energy to those that will drain me. I choose to honour myself, and my right to live a peaceful life.

It is not about being these things in spite of someone else. It is about coming from a place of love, honouring yourself, honouring your truth, and sending anyone who does not fulfill this on with love. Our world is desperate for love, lets start a love wave and see how far we can echo it.

From my heart to yours xxx

Perceptions..,

Here's the thing.. 2015 has been a rough year for a lot of people within my circle. For me it has been a year of fixing things - doing the hard yards, laying the foundations for a brighter future, for myself and my family. Meanwhile, all around me there have been break ups and break downs, most of which are unbelievably messy and complicated.

I have been reminded of this truth though, our perceptions cloud our judgments. I have lived this. What I thought were judgments others were making of me, were thinking of me - was in fact, my perception of their reality. And round and round it goes. What starts off as an inkling, becomes full on nausea inducing, and then inevitably it becomes life or death.

If we can just slow it down - challenge those thoughts..Is this actually happening, or is it my perception of the situation? Sometimes it will absolutely be reality, but other times we give our brains (our ego) full reign of our cognitive capacities, and it ends in disaster, we metaphorically spontaneously combust!!

But combusting leads to other complications..trust me, I know! Too many times, I have to dig deeper than I thought it humanly possible, into parts of me that I did not know even existed..but exist they did...and they exist in you too! How do I know? Because you are the infinite universe in motion, you are loved beyond levels that you can possibly fathom. Challenges such as the ones that you have/are or will be facing in the future, will mold and shape you. I think of it as a tree branch..at times there is damage to the branch and the tree must repair itself, which leads to visible scarring, it is three dimensional and interesting. It is, however, changed from the branch it once was - it now has angles and texture where once it was smooth and flat that.That scarring, creates a new way of being, and with each scarring, you learn that it will not break you, it will challenge you (absolutely), and it will cause you to alter the you you currently know. But that is a good thing, that is how we grow.

Humanity's first reaction is to say - I won't do that, I'll limit my experiences so that I don't get hurt, so I don't need to feel pain and adversity. Yes, that may be true, but do you know what else you limit? Your happiness, your ability to give and receive love, your abundant experience of this lifetime. Living safely, completely, shields you from pain, but it prevents you from truly living. Dear one, you deserve so much more than to live your life full of restrictions.

Perceptions are part of the human experience - we need to negotiate our way around them. Don't be clouded by your perception of other people's perceptions - you will literally and figuratively tie yourself up in monumental knots, until you reach a place where you no longer know which way is up anymore. Untangle yourself, know yourself, love yourself - because, in the end, that self belief, that truth...is all you need. 

You can do this. I believe in you.
Xxxx

I am worthy...

I am a mother, a teacher, a wife, and a multitude of other roles that all come with responsibility. I have never been good at putting myself first..in fact, I have spent my entire life putting everyone else's needs ahead of my own...to my detriment. 

What I've come to realise though, is that I can be none of these things, if I don't look after myself. By that, I mean more than making sure that I've eaten and drunken enough water to function...that's really important, but self care is so much more than that. In my darkest hour, it was explained to me in the best way I have ever heard, and one that I could truly relate to as a mother. Treat yourself like a toddler. What do you do for your toddler? Yes, you make sure they have had enough food and water, but you don't stop there. You make sure that they've had enough sleep, you provide them with some stimulation, but not too much stimulation. You spend some quality time with them, but also give them some time to explore the world around them in a safe manner. You give them love and cuddles when they need it, and sometimes just because it feels good. You tell them you love them, and focus on the positive - positive reinforcement, we are told, is a good thing.

Question....How much of this do you do for yourself? Seriously, sit in a quiet place, and really contemplate this...Do you do this for yourself? Until about 4 years ago, my honest answer?....Almost never. I'd get so busy doing stuff, that I'd skip meals, survive on coffee, and definitely not drink enough water. I wasn't sleeping well - and nowhere near the recommended 8 hours a day. I was too busy saying yes to everyone to realise that I was saying no to me.

Every time I said yes to someone else, I was saying no to me.

I was saying no to my hopes and dreams, I was saying no to being worthy of love and affection, I was saying no to quality of life, I was saying no to who I am at my core. And do you know what this lead to? Soul sadness. Complete and utter disconnection from who I was as a person, and what I stood for.

What do you stand for? Who do you stand for?

The truth of the matter is, all that stuff..all those roles and responsibilities? They meant nothing. What mattered in my heart was happiness..mine, my husband's and my child's. Everything else was just stuff, stuff that was drowning and suffocating me. Then came the lightning bolt moment (forget this light bulb business). My husband and child were unhappy because I was unhappy, which was making them unhappy...and so the cycle perpetuated. At some point there comes a time when you have to say STOP!!!!

Self-care is not selfish, it is not indulgent, and it is certainly not something that can be shelved until the time is right. There is never going to be a right time, that time is now. Think of it this way, the train won't go without the driver, the same way you can't give to anyone else until you give to yourself.

It doesn't have to be a massively time consuming thing. It could be walking outside for five minutes and looking at they sky - the clouds, the stars, the moon..though please don't look at the sun, you're eyes won't thank you for it! A bath, a run, what ever it is that makes you feel alive, that fills your belly with joy. Stop saying yes to everyone else but yourself, you deserve some yes's too. That little toddler inside you is screaming out for some love, some quality time with you.

You deserve it. You need it. You are so loved by everyone else, and now you need to love yourself. Abundantly. You are the universe and the universe is you. It is time to experience your magnificence. Own it, it's yours. Don't just dream it...BE it (to quote the Rocky Horror Picture Show).

With so much love xxx

Finding your way back to you..

How many days in how many ways do you find yourself thinking, feeling, hoping and wishing that you knew deeply who you are? Not as a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, or what ever label you are choosing to place on yourself today, but as who you are, truly, deeply, at a soul level?

Sometimes we are so busy, paddling furiously to stay afloat, that we don't even notice the invisible bars that have found their way around our glorious beings. That is, until you go to spread your wings...

So many of us, are searching in any and every corner, near and far, for the inner truth that we have long since forgotten about. Do you remember? As a child, not caring what others thought, not caring what you wore, thought or said? YOU could be anything you wanted, and often were many things all at once. My son, right now, thinks that he is going to be a heart surgeon and hulk smash - and doesn't bat an eyelid. He is deeply serious, and deeply passionate about both!

So what can we do about it? How can we make it better? YOU need to make time for YOU. You need to be your own best friend. Spend time with you, doing things that you love to do...and if right now you have absolutely no idea what those things might be, spend some time finding out! Spending time with you..splashing in the waves, watching a sunset, stargazing, painting, dancing..what ever it is, you need to make time for it. And after that? Meditate. Meditate my dear one, once you have developed a practice of meditation - you will learn that you can, and will, connect with your higher self in your meditations. You can ask questions, and receive guidance, but most of all you will gain a sense of serenity in knowing you, the glorious, magnificent being who is reading this right now. 

Don't worry how far away you have come from being connected to you. It is never too late, and you'll never be too far away from working your way back. Your soul team will only ever come to you from a place of pure love. You are loved more than you can possibly imagine, infinitely, completely, truthfully. Know that in your heart, your heart is your connection to self - self love, self worth, self acceptance. All you need is time to spend with you, and peace to listen.

Love and light xxxx

The process of life..

Life is a funny thing, it ebbs and flows, providing moments of absolute clarity juxtaposed by complete, cloudy confusion. At times you can feel like the 'King of the world', and at other times like a dismal, sodden lump of clay..and do you know what? I have come to learn that this is all part of the human experience. When you are in it and look around, you might be inclined to think that you are on your own, that no-one can possibly get it like you do. I bet you though, if you were to have an open, honest heart-to-heart with someone else - you might find similarities.

For me, my life has been experienced in and through a plethora of dance. I dance when I'm happy, excited, joyful, but I also dance when I'm sad, depressed, lonely. Because lets be honest, no matter where you are in your journey through this life, we all experience these emotions, even within our relationships.

It's all about how you view the world. If you focus on the negative, the sad, depressing, let-down, angry, hurt emotions - then this is what you will come to know. You have poured your energy into feeling this way, to attracting and manifesting these things in your life - even if it was completely unintentional. 

However, if you can flip it around, and focus on the positive, the happy, joyful, blessed emotions - then equally, this is what you will come to know. How do I do that? Well, it's about choosing to see the glass half full, and instilling a practice of gratitude. This will probably be very hard work, if this is new to you. But it is important to develop this practice. Start by writing down 3 things you are grateful for everyday before you close your eyes on the day. It could be people, it could be an experience, something you did, or something someone else did for you. On a difficult day it could be as basic as having a roof over your head, clothes to wear, and clean water to drink. By focusing on the positive, you will attract these things into your life..and who doesn't want that!

Stay grounded, protect yourself, and create daily gratitude rituals in your life..you'll be amazed at the difference it makes.

Love and light xxx