Being a Mama in 2016...

https://my2ndheartbeat.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/heart-mother-child.jpg

I am a Mama. I am privileged to be able to love and guide my beautiful son through this world, and I love it...most days. The thing is, we are living in a time when we expect others, but most especially ourselves, to be superwoman. We expect that we can be all things to everyone, and it simply is not the case.

Mother's all around the world are breaking because they are guilty, because they feel like they are failing, because they feel like they are not providing the very best opportunities for their children, and because they feel inadequate. We are running ourselves into the ground, and losing ourselves in the process.

It is okay to say I'm not coping, or I need a break. You know what? I bloody applaud you for recognising what you NEED!! You do not need to be perfect, there really is no such thing. Please stop with this perpetuating cycle. You are not only harming yourself, but the very children you are trying to protect. They are darling little sponges who pick up on everything...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Be realistic about what you can achieve, and be okay with that. If it has to get done tomorrow, so what? Will the Earth stop spinning? Do what has to be done and then give yourself a break. I operate a three column list system..something I was taught way back as a beginning teacher. Column #1, what has to be done. Things that are essential for life, if it's not essential, it's not in this list. This is my list that includes things like having someone pick up my child from school, having dinner etc. Column #2, things I'd like to get done today. Things in this list are maintenance items. For example, things like getting to the gym (important for my mental health, but not life or death), grocery shopping etc. Column #3 is things I'd like to get done but are neither essential or necessary. Things like weeding the garden, cleaning the car etc.

At the end of the day, you only have 24 hours in a day - and hopefully 8 of them are spent in slumber, because Mama needs sleep just as much as the children do. Between all the elements that make up your life, you need to make some time in there to prioritise you. Because every time you choose someone over you, you are telling yourself you are not worthy of time or love. And do you know what? That is the same message you are sending out into the Universe, and exactly what you are attracting back to yourself. If you want to experience something different you need to own it, and change it. Only you have the power to do that.

Spend some time with you. Remember what it is that makes you feel alive, what fires up your soul? Then find a way to include that in your day. For me, I have always processed my feelings through movement - dancing is an expression of me and I can't imagine my life without it in it. Children love to dance with you, to move with you. So even if you can't get out to a class, or have space to jam it up, know that chucking on some child-friendly sounds and having a groove session in the kitchen is more than acceptable!! 

Superwoman is a myth. You do you, and do you big! Mama's are important! I hope you can see the beautiful and glorious beings I see.

xxx

I am enough

Hold onto your hats beautiful souls, because this one is super important! This one is being shouted at me as we speak, because it is important for me to hear also...

Dear one, you are enough exactly as you are. The beliefs you hold about being enough when you have a job, being enough when you lose the weight, being enough when you have x number of children, being enough when you find your soul partner/ shake off the ex-partner etc. etc.

Right here, right now, exactly as you are. You are not flawed, you are not wrong, you are not everything you have told yourself leading up to this point that has made you feel small, unworthy, and broken. You are a glorious, magnificent soul who has so many gifts and talents to offer this world, a world that desperately needs you, ALL of you, right now!

How many of you right now can honestly say that you not only accept yourself, but love the shizz out of yourself? And here lies the crux of the issue at hand. It is one thing to love the part of you that you think is socially acceptable, the one you perceive to be of highest importance. But I am here today to tell you that all of you is worthy of love, and deserves it!

Somewhere along the way, life took its toll. Experience taught us that if I behave a certain way, present myself a certain way, that life will be good. Is it? I bet that you have found yourself full of angst, anxiety, and a fair amount of self-loathing if you are anything like me. 

You have to do the work. You and only you, needs to reconnect with all parts of yourself and love the shizz out of them. There may well be tears, anger, rage, regret. But in order to move forward you have to go there. Release the hurt, and let it go. Send it out into the cosmos, and then reflect back the universal love that is waiting for you. 

You are worth it. Once you get to that point, it will then become apparent that this is not a once off. Letting life take over and abandoning yourself again will not be an option. Love yourself, each and every day, bare minimum once a day. Be grateful for you, your strengths and your perceived weaknesses. Everything. Always. In what ever way works for you. For me, it is a practice of gratitude, combined with loving movements - because I have always found my bliss in movement. For you, it could be something entirely different. You do you, honouring, loving and celebrating you.

Go gently dear ones, and love your beautiful selves.
xxx