I am a mother, a teacher, a wife, and a multitude of other roles that all come with responsibility. I have never been good at putting myself first..in fact, I have spent my entire life putting everyone else's needs ahead of my own...to my detriment.
What I've come to realise though, is that I can be none of these things, if I don't look after myself. By that, I mean more than making sure that I've eaten and drunken enough water to function...that's really important, but self care is so much more than that. In my darkest hour, it was explained to me in the best way I have ever heard, and one that I could truly relate to as a mother. Treat yourself like a toddler. What do you do for your toddler? Yes, you make sure they have had enough food and water, but you don't stop there. You make sure that they've had enough sleep, you provide them with some stimulation, but not too much stimulation. You spend some quality time with them, but also give them some time to explore the world around them in a safe manner. You give them love and cuddles when they need it, and sometimes just because it feels good. You tell them you love them, and focus on the positive - positive reinforcement, we are told, is a good thing.
Question....How much of this do you do for yourself? Seriously, sit in a quiet place, and really contemplate this...Do you do this for yourself? Until about 4 years ago, my honest answer?....Almost never. I'd get so busy doing stuff, that I'd skip meals, survive on coffee, and definitely not drink enough water. I wasn't sleeping well - and nowhere near the recommended 8 hours a day. I was too busy saying yes to everyone to realise that I was saying no to me.
Every time I said yes to someone else, I was saying no to me.
I was saying no to my hopes and dreams, I was saying no to being worthy of love and affection, I was saying no to quality of life, I was saying no to who I am at my core. And do you know what this lead to? Soul sadness. Complete and utter disconnection from who I was as a person, and what I stood for.
What do you stand for? Who do you stand for?
The truth of the matter is, all that stuff..all those roles and responsibilities? They meant nothing. What mattered in my heart was happiness..mine, my husband's and my child's. Everything else was just stuff, stuff that was drowning and suffocating me. Then came the lightning bolt moment (forget this light bulb business). My husband and child were unhappy because I was unhappy, which was making them unhappy...and so the cycle perpetuated. At some point there comes a time when you have to say STOP!!!!
Self-care is not selfish, it is not indulgent, and it is certainly not something that can be shelved until the time is right. There is never going to be a right time, that time is now. Think of it this way, the train won't go without the driver, the same way you can't give to anyone else until you give to yourself.
It doesn't have to be a massively time consuming thing. It could be walking outside for five minutes and looking at they sky - the clouds, the stars, the moon..though please don't look at the sun, you're eyes won't thank you for it! A bath, a run, what ever it is that makes you feel alive, that fills your belly with joy. Stop saying yes to everyone else but yourself, you deserve some yes's too. That little toddler inside you is screaming out for some love, some quality time with you.
You deserve it. You need it. You are so loved by everyone else, and now you need to love yourself. Abundantly. You are the universe and the universe is you. It is time to experience your magnificence. Own it, it's yours. Don't just dream it...BE it (to quote the Rocky Horror Picture Show).
With so much love xxx
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